AN UNWILLINGNESS TO FORGIVE OTHERS for the real or imaginary wrongs they have done us is a poison that affects our health—physical, emotional, and spiritual—sometimes very deeply.  (It can affect our family and community life and our work and social life). 

Here is a simple way of ridding yourself of resentments that you may be nursing:

First, imagine that you see the person you resent there in front of you. Tell him or her of your resentment, and express all your anger to him or her as forcefully as you can. Do not baulk at your choice of words!

After expressing all your resentment, but only after, look at the whole incident that caused the resentment from the other person’s point of view. Take the other person’s place and explain the whole thing.  How does the incident look when seen through his or her eyes?

Another way of ridding yourself of anger and resentment is this:

Imagine, that you see Jesus on the Cross…Take all the time you need to picture him in vivid detail…

Now go to the scene of your resentment…Stay with it for a while… Then return to Jesus crucified and gaze at him again… Keep alternating between the event that caused your resentment and the scene of Jesus on the Cross…until you notice the resentment slipping away from you and feel the freedom, joy and light-heartedness that follows. 

[1] Anthony de Mello, Sadhana— a way to God.